I. WHAT IS HATRED?
Definition. Hatred is a special type of attitude. It is a deep aversion or revulsion. In this sense, it is a running away from something in a very profound way. It is also an ego trait that is very common in human beings.
This attitude of aversion or revulsion can occur on any of the seven levels of human functioning:
1. Physical aversion
2. Emotional aversion
3. Mental aversion
4. Social aversion
5. Work or career-related aversion
6. Wisdom-level aversion
7. Spiritual aversion
Hatred is a way to shut down the mind to a degree, in order to handle overwhelming stress or trauma. One simply says “No” to the situation or person, and this revulsion or rejectionis called hatred. In this regard, hatred is always a generalization and a false conclusion.
Another word for it may beprejudice, which takes a few incidents or qualities of a person, a group or something else and then generalizes from it. Hatred is of this nature.
Our minds are designed to reason inductively. This means we can take a few facts, and we can generalize and draw conclusions based upon them. This is an important mental faculty. However, if the faculty is not well balanced with deductive reasoning and wisdom, which is a quality of doubting, confirming and re-affirming our conclusions, we often end up with judgment and then it turns easily to strong aversion or hatred.
Hatred is therefore a hardening of the mind and spirit in a direction of revulsion.
DETACHING EMOTIONALLY IS THE OPPOSITE OF HATRED
In one sense, the opposite of hatred is not love. It is mental and emotional detachment. Hatred attaches you to the thing or person you hate. This is a very important principle of hatred. Hatred is so strong an aversion that it creates a rebound effect in the person in some sense that attracts the person back to the thing or item hated in order to be averse to it over and over. In this sense, it is like resentment – to feelagain and again – from the Latin root of the word
The ego and hatred. Hatred, like resentment, can feel like candy in the mouth. It has a sweetness about it because it builds up the ego and makes you feel very superior to the thing or one that is hated. After all, you would never do or be like that which you hate, so you are therefore superior. This is the way the ego puffs itself up with hatred, as it does with resentment.
The only difference is that resentment is more of a feeling inside, as is anger, whereas hatred is more of a mental attitude rather than an emotional feeling. Indeed, hatred is devoid of feeling, often.
It is just a silent undercurrent, often a sullen, depressed, withdrawn aspect of the self that one carries around all the time, no matter what. This is the nature of hatred.
HOW IS HATRED DIFFERENT FROM DISLIKING SOMEONE OR SOMETHING?
Dislike is a preference. Hatred is a fixed aversion or attitude that is a final judgment, as it were, upon someone else or some-thing. Dislike is often the result of discernment, (a very necessary thinking process), while hatred is a judgment. Dislike is okay and does not cause disease and projection. Hatred always involves some projection of guilt, and always causes disease in oneself and war with others.
CAN YOU HATE YOURSELF?
Definitely. In fact, this always goes along with hating anything else. Indeed, correcting your self-hatred is the best way to start letting go of hatred of others. It also works the other way around. It you can stop hating all others, often you will also stop hating yourself.
ALL HATRED IS MENTAL ILLNESS AND HAS VERY BAD CONSEQUENCES
Hatred is a form of neurosis, fixation, reversal and judgment. All of these words describe a type of mental illness that is always harmful for oneself and for others. If persisted in, it always leads to war with others and to disease in the body.
HATRED IS FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE, EVIL WITH MORE EVIL
This is important to see, feel and understand. Hating is just doling out more of the same thing that you do not like in others, or in the world. “He hurt me, so I will hate him”. That is the motto of the hater. It does not work.
A better approach is “He hurt me, so I will not hate him back. I will love and forgive as best I can”. This is fighting fire with water, which is far more effective.
Forgiving does not mean to go along. In fact, it is never going along. Forgiving means to refrain from judging and hating, and then to take whatever action is needed in the situation.
II. GETTING RID OF HATRED
Here are some steps to letting go of hatred:
1. See or admit that you have some hatred. You cannot get rid of it if you will not admit it is there, at least to some degree. Listen to others who tell you about your anger and hatred. Do not ignore this counsel.
2. Try to catch yourself in your anger and hatred. This is tricky to do, as the mind will often disguise it with excuses or offhand phrases like “he’s really such a jerk”. Using foul language to describe someone or something is a way that many people subtly express hatred, by the way.
3. When you catch yourself in these phrases, words or actions, stop yourself, realizing it is wrong and it just feeds your hatred and anger. Ask others in your life to assist you with this, and do not hate them for pointing out your tendency or your words.
The hater’s response is to simply say that others are “out to get you”, “trying to control you” or similar ideas. Stay away from this tendency to project or blame others who point out your anger and hatred.
4. Instead of falling to the temptation to hate and judge, work on describing the person or situation in rational, mature, adult language. Do not just curse at him or it, and do not gloss over bad behavior, for example in the manner of the Stockholm syndrome. In the latter, bad behaviors viewed as okay in order that one should not feel too uncomfortable.
5. Take action rather than harbor hatred. Do what needs to be done, preferably in an even-handed and open-minded way. Learn how to “be strong, but not wrong” to quote Mr. Roy Masters. Do what you must do in the situation if someone has wronged you, for example.
6. One must often do a form of active or power prayer – the pushing down exercise – in order to catch oneself in subtle hatreds. If you keep doing this exercise, hatreds will be brought up gently for you to look at them and let them go.
7. A final step is asking the Creator or God to intervene in your life and remove your hatred, as it is something that most people cannot do on their own. This is how deep and how difficult hatred is to remove from the minds of most people.
III. OTHER RELATED TOPICS
PREVENTING HATE FROM TAKING HOLD IN YOU.
This can be difficult, especially if you experience rape, murder in your family, severe illness, or other crimes or unexplainable events. The mind simply does not tolerate these very well and looks for ways to judge them and put them in little cubbyholes called hatreds.
Christian thinking can help. This is a type of mental efforting that emphasizes forgiveness in the moment. Having wise and mature parents and older adults around you at all times is also extremely helpful. Another help is reading the Bible or other spiritual books that openly discuss the evils of harboring negative thoughts and feelings toward others.
EXAMPLES OF HATRED IN THE PUBLIC ARENA
Common examples of hatreds are prejudices against black people, Hebrew people, Catholics, or the common hatred today of the Bible and all religion. Others hate anyone who believes differently in any way than they do.
Politically, many people secretly hate freedom and do not trust the common man to make decisions for himself. This is called elitism, and it is a form of hatred of the commoner. In times past, this was obvious as the “upper classes” literally thumbed their noses at the “unwashed masses of the people”, feeling they were worse than dirt and did not deserve any rights.
That idea is less prevalent today, but it lingers on in the systems of government called social democracy,socialism and communism.
TEACHING CHILDREN TO HATE
Hatred is taught to some children. The tendency or fact of teaching children to hate things is a horrible mistake on the part of parents, teachers and other adults in a child’s life. Hatred is not necessary, and just hardens the personality and eventually sickens the body.
HATRED MAY BE THE RESULT OF POORLY DEVELOPED BOUNDARIES OF THE PERSONALITY
If one is not sure of one’s boundaries and identity, it is difficult to separate oneself from others. One becomes enmeshed, as it were, with others and this is very uncomfortable and often unacceptable to the personality.
Hatred is one way to forcefully separate yourself from others, or from ideas and concepts that one wishes to separate from.
Another way to say this is that if one is not properly attached to or clearly dependent upon and in touch with the Creator or Source, one will tend to go back and forth attaching and running away from other people, objects, and situations.
In other words, hating someone or something is a quick way to detach, or seemingly so – to erect a boundary for yourself from others or from a situation.
Also, the deeper one feels, the more difficult it can be to establish good boundaries, and therefore the more likely one may go into hatred. Perhaps this is why some women become hateful, as they often feel more deeply than many men. However, this is a generalization thatis not true for all, certainly.
SPIRITUAL ASPECTS OF HATRED
Hating God. Many people today hate God. Reasons for this are:
1. They experienced an illness, an accident, or something else in which they feel God disappointed them or betrayed them.
2. They asked God for help with a problem, but nothing happened.
3. They don’t agree with something in the Bible or something about organized religion, and this leads them to hate the entire concept of God.
This is understandable. However, my experience as a doctor is that hating God leads to disease, in all cases, because it is the same as hating yourself. God is not someone outside of you. We have our being in God.
If you do not see or feel or understand the idea of God, just leave it alone. Do not hate it for any reason, as this tends to backfire.